Alcohol, explosives, gun violence, and bigotry. True American values. Of course, let's not forget what Independence Day is really all about: the Declaration of Independence and our freedom-and-justice loving forefathers:

He has excited domestic Insurrections among us, and has endeavoured to bring on the Inhabitants of our Frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known Rule of Warfare, is an undistinguished Destruction, of all Ages, Sexes and Conditions.

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